Ask Richard III

I am determined to prove a villain

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Anonymous asked: What are Richard's thoughts/feelings regarding sexual attraction and desire? Any complexes we should know about?

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((OOC: Richard probably despises seeing any and all displays of affection, especially when his brothers/relatives are on the receiving end. Because he hasn’t been exposed to a lot of affection he takes it as a personal insult to see anyone else getting all cutesy, even if the witness is accidental.

That being said, Richard likes to consider himself extremely romantic. On the off chance that he lets himself grow attached to anyone, he goes a bit overboard in expressing his feelings. He’s very clingy, and probably couldn’t stand to see Lady Anne speak to anyone but him for weeks after they were married. He feels the need to contain the few things he cares about, and would be very very angry if anyone was to sully what he considers his achievements. Think of it like his crown - he guards both with threats of death. 

Complex-wise, it’s no shocker that he’s intimidated by women. A handful of awful experiences with women provided a self worth as misshapen as his outward appearance. It’s a reason why he is so adamant about the idea that he “cannot prove a lover”, although he obviously can when necessary. At the point of the “winter of our discontent” speech, he’s entertained a few mistresses, and hasn’t really seen the point in occupying his time with more. Like his brothers never understood his fascination with Machiavelli, he never understood theirs with women. Villainy is Richard’s new mistress, and he enjoys a wrongful act better than the company of someone like Mistress Shore.

However, he does have a slight weakness to romance. He is especially fond of rhetoric, some flowers, and other aesthetically beautiful romantic items. He’s been caught reading (and even writing) poetry late at night, and on Valentines Day has been known to order minstrels to his house to play sappy love songs. If anything, he can be considered an admirer of beauty, which he demands in many forms outside of romantic attraction.))

Filed under anons headcanon romance getting all mushy I love that kiss in the gif although it comes at the worst possible time but still perfect kiss because their faces fit together ok I'm allowed to ship my richanne even if its creepy shakespeare richanne richard III and love yet another example of why the duchess of york should have hugged him more I don't know about you but I totally see him as a hopeless romantic hopeless romantic with murderous tendencies what a catch drawing hearts with the blood of his enemies

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godpunishmewithhate asked: *kisses*you have caught the kisses disease now you have to send it to the next 10people on your dash

godpunishmewithhate:

askrichardiii:

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…Thou hadst better have a good explanation for this, Buckingham.

I thank thee, most gracious sovereign - e’en so, I fear my words would be nothing compared to thy own, as thou hast just proved in thine analogy.

As for Lord Stanley, as yet he has not revealed deep designs of any sort, although he has expressed great interest in my words - although the reason for this interest, my gracious sovereign, will not please thee in the hearing. In order to try and discern just where his loyalties lie…in order that he was to believe my pretence of rebellion…I didst tell him that I desire thy crown.

Didst thou indeed? A strangely instinctive response, dost thou not think, Buckingham?

Filed under godpunishmewithhate wow way to go buckingham totally screwed that is literally THE LAST thing you want to say to richard III also I learned how to cut posts hurray!

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askrichardiii asked: *kisses*you have caught the kisses disease now you have to send it to the next 10people on your dash

stanleyofbothsides:

askrichardiii:

stanleyofbothsides:

askrichardiii:

stanleyofbothsides:

askrichardiii:

stanleyofbothsides:

"Well isn’t this quite the role-reversal? I believe I should be kissing your hand, sire, not the other way round."

Clouds of uncertainty toucheth him who is highest first. But ‘tis better to keep aware of the times, no matter how stable. Many an enemy may paint their face in friendly shades.

Aye, and if your Grace has not yet risen above these clouds, you surely will soon. Unless, that is, you would rather conceal yourself within their shades of grey and strike your false friends through the fog.

Grey doth not become me, Stanley, nor any good man in England. A man who shows his colours at the first is a man well trusted, is he not, Stanley?

Quite right, sire. Methinks grey is beyond redemption, even from someone as handsome as yourself.

Oh indeed, but those who show their colours last can be trusted also. It can be beneficial to hide one’s colours - so long as they are the correct ones - until the pivotal moment.

A rather mysterious position to take, Stanley, I’m not sure I quite follow. It didst sound to me that thou wert condoning, marry, even practicing the art of deception. Is that what thou meant?

At the risk of sounding proud, your Grace, I did practice it in times gone by and it served me well. I might go as far as to say that many victories for noble York have been won through deception alongside bravery.

Of course I have learnt that the House of York cannot be deceived, so perhaps the art is best reserved for misleading Lancasters.

That wouldst be very bold of thee to say so, Stanley. If York hath been sullied with deception, wouldst it not retain its noble reputation? 

Perhaps…but wert thou not once “mislead” into the ranks of Lancasters, good Stanley?

Filed under stanleyofbothsides no richard will pretty much make sure you don't win this one nice try at flattery though

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"The winter of our discontent never bothered me anyway."

Filed under frozen do you want to build a snowman you knew I was going to make one of these eventually uncle richard can never let it go buckingham we finish each other... sandwiches inwardly plotting your doom oh lady anne if only there's was someone who loved you the second gif is all I knew I shouldn't have taken you to see that damn movie the best part is it's actually winter during the movie at this point did I really need these songs stuck in my head again no the answer is always no

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askrichardiii asked: *kisses*you have caught the kisses disease now you have to send it to the next 10people on your dash

stanleyofbothsides:

askrichardiii:

stanleyofbothsides:

askrichardiii:

stanleyofbothsides:

askrichardiii:

stanleyofbothsides:

askrichardiii:

stanleyofbothsides:

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stanleyofbothsides:

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stanleyofbothsides:

"Well isn’t this quite the role-reversal? I believe I should be kissing your hand, sire, not the other way round."

And wherefore I should I not? There hast already been one rival for the throne, and I need not the threat of another.

I agree whole-heartedly, your Grace, but many lies have circulated the court recently. It is perhaps too early to point the finger of treason.

Perhaps, Stanley, but early suspicion oft leads to early evidence.

What hast thou heard of the rebellious plots - know’st thou any in great displeasure at court?

Even so, to appear aggravated by something so seemingly inconsequential could cause your subjects to doubt your strength, which would create more problems than it solves.

I am under the impression that Buckingham knows more about such things than I. Perhaps you would be better to consult him.

Buckingham is a man of trivial matters - he as good a consult as a looking-glass. Indeed, the man spends more time on his fashions than the ladies at court, they say.

I have tried to speak to him upon the subject, to no good end. The lofty Buckingham says he hast no mind to the matter. Indeed, methinks rather he hast no matter of mind, from his idle conversation. 

But what knowledge hast thou gleaned from him, Lord Stanley, to make such an impression upon thee? Thou art not one to dismiss thy own good council.

I would say he does have mind to the matter, and that in itself confirms the latter. Anyone contemplating bearing arms against you – after your heroic victory in battle, I mean – must be as foolish and idle as Buckingham seems.

I have gleaned no knowledge, per se -the man is shrewd – but I have sensed more than mere stirrings of discontent.  All I can ask is that you be on your guard, your Grace.

Good Stanley, thy tongue is both flattering and truthful, and thy council well-steeled. I shalt heed thy words, and look to thee to keep my guard all the stronger with thy news. In uncertain times, a king must be sure of his friends, must he not? 

Your tongue is flattering also, your Grace. I thank you for your words of kindness.

Surely if a king were sure of his friends, they would not be uncertain times?

Clouds of uncertainty toucheth him who is highest first. But ‘tis better to keep aware of the times, no matter how stable. Many an enemy may paint their face in friendly shades.

Aye, and if your Grace has not yet risen above these clouds, you surely will soon. Unless, that is, you would rather conceal yourself within their shades of grey and strike your false friends through the fog.

Grey doth not become me, Stanley, nor any good man in England. A man who shows his colours at the first is a man well trusted, is he not, Stanley?

Quite right, sire. Methinks grey is beyond redemption, even from someone as handsome as yourself.

Oh indeed, but those who show their colours last can be trusted also. It can be beneficial to hide one’s colours - so long as they are the correct ones - until the pivotal moment.

A rather mysterious position to take, Stanley, I’m not sure I quite follow. It didst sound to me that thou wert condoning, marry, even practicing the art of deception. Is that what thou meant?

Filed under stanleyofbothsides lies everywhere richard knows exactly what your up to stanley I don't think you want to say yes to this omg I can totally see stanley wearing a grey shirt right now trolling stanley all day every day

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godpunishmewithhate asked: *kisses*you have caught the kisses disease now you have to send it to the next 10people on your dash

godpunishmewithhate:

askrichardiii:

godpunishmewithhate:

askrichardiii:

godpunishmewithhate:

askrichardiii:

godpunishmewithhate:

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godpunishmewithhate:

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…Thou hadst better have a good explanation for this, Buckingham.

Am I to assume the love I bear for my sovereign king is not explanation enough?

Marry, not when I hath tasked thee to despise me. Supposeth thou Stanley saw such a display - pray tell what explanation wouldst be enough for that? 

…No explanation at all, my gracious lord…I must confess I had not thought on’t. I apologise. This pretence is more difficult than at first I didst imagine - after all thou hast done for me…I cannot despise thee.

Then perhaps thou shouldst think on’t more often. ‘Tis the way to repay my kindness to thee, after all.

If thou cannot despise me for myself, make pretenses that I am some other thou dost despise. Make mine image in thy head to be one of an o’erstepping Woodville, a lofty councilman, a unwise youth. What image suits thee best, Buckingham, for thy purposes, is what I shouldst be to thy mind.  

Of course, my gracious sovereign; I wish more than anything to repay thy kindness to me. 

But shalt thou permit me to cease this pretence, when we are not in the eye of the court?

Perhaps I shall, if thou may convince me so. The game shalt be good practice for thy work against Stanley.

Come, cousin, put thy flattery and thy persuasion to good use, else I make thee keep thy pretense indefinitely. 

My gracious sovereign, thou knowst I love thee well. How couldst I despise thee, after all thou hast done for me? But for thyself, aside from thy kindness, thy form and nobleness of mind, thy wisdom, virtue and humility - why, England could wish for no better ruler than thee.

Thou speak’st well, cousin, but thy words art simple truths. I ask for pleasant poetry to ring in mine ears upon the subject of myself. Canst thou not speak better than thou already hast and please me further?

I couldst try, my sovereign liege, yet I fear poetry be not my strongest suit - I fear ‘twould not please thee in the hearing. Besides, surely anything I attempt to put into poetry is worth more as the truth, as fact?

Yes, one may say so. But methinks that poetry is like the white rose that grows unruly amongst the order and fact of the garden. One may’st struggle to find words, as a bloom may struggle amongst its thorns to find the sun, but to unfurl a bloom, as to unfurl the pages of poetry, is to make all struggle worth it. 

But, if thou art not so inclined I wilt not put thee to it - this time.

What say’st Lord Stanley about thy little pretense? Dost he reveal some deep design, or interest in thy words?

Filed under godpunishmewithhate so of course richard has to be all poetic showoff then goes right back to plotting of course these two I swear

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askrichardiii asked: Good morrow, my lady. How fair a rose art thou, and how fitting to find thee in the garden - I shouldst expect no other place for thee. Wilt thou spare a flower for a poor spectator of thy beauty?

pray-you-love-remember:

askrichardiii:

pray-you-love-remember:

*glances up with a bright smile — one eerily bright* God ‘ild you! Why, the roses are for happiness, my dove — *sings* Larded with sweet flowers, which bewept to the grave did go…

*sadly* But, pray you, let us have no words of this. There’s a columbine.

Thank you, my lady. Thou keep’st thy garden in good state, the roses must be ever happier with thee than alone.

Pray, wilt thou not sing thy pretty tunes for me, dear Ophelia?

Nay, the roses chide too often and blush too well. Pray you, mark…

*sings* And a down a down a down, A down a down a. Up to the bush the lark did go, a down a down.

*stops suddenly* Knowst you the baker’s daughter? He tumbled on the wheel before she found he was to blame. So be it with all young men. God be wi’ you!

Indeed, young men hath a way with wheels and how to turn them to their liking. But is it so for young Hamlet, milady?

Filed under prayyouloveremember no worries casually talking to crazies

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northernprincessxx asked: " my lord papa" Isabella beamed up at him

Good morrow, my dear. This is certainly an unexpected visit. What brings thee to court?

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Anonymous asked: Do you think that Edward shortened his own life by becoming so massively fat as he did?

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Someone not as doting as myself might confirm that Edward wast indeed bloated in confidence and countenance. Perhaps some may even be bold to say that he overfed his person, wast too fond of wine and made acquaintances with aliments rather than allies.

But, being a most loving brother, I wouldst never say such things.

((OOC: A similar question was also answered here))

Filed under lots of unflattering edward iv questions loving brother not anons cedric hardwicke certainly isn't a very flattering edward the white queen one that everyone posts gifs of is a bit better smug little grin gifs laurence olivier secretly jealous of the white queen cast well mine was historically accurate too so there five year old olivier who are we kidding olivier is a giant five year old all the food puns aliments is a olden time word for food yay thesaurus